


corridor diplomacy

by rqtheory



Series: hold it, hold it, hold it steady [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Swearing, unholy obsession with seltzer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 22:24:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11366865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rqtheory/pseuds/rqtheory
Summary: Brad and Taako negotiate ownership of a bottle of seltzer.





	corridor diplomacy

All Taako wanted was a seltzer. Normally that wouldn't be a problem - there was a vending machine on every floor of this place, and he'd been out there a hundred times buying chocolate bars or those novelty giant biscuits, occasionally at odd hours. Okay, often at odd hours. Technically not having to sleep meant practically getting bored at 3am and novelty giant biscuits from the vending machine were preferable to waking his roommates by making them from scratch.

This wasn't even one of those times. It was barely 9pm, and all he wanted was a fizzy water. He'd tried using prestidigitation to make it and his cup had melted - turns out infusing water with bubbles wasn't technically 'flavouring' a material - so he gave up and resigned himself to the vending machine.

Which, naturally, wasn't working. Oh, it'd taken his money all right, and the wire had rotated, but the seltzer - _his_ seltzer - was stuck.

Swearing, Taako kicked it. The bottle remained resolutely unmoving.

Prestidigitation hadn't worked so well for him today but he tried it anyway, and immediately regretted it as some kind of field around the machine pushed the gust of wind straight back into his face. So much for that.

Resigned to the loss, he gave the machine one last half-hearted shove before turning around to see Brad Bradson, looking a lot less professional than last time they met, in red and navy check pyjama pants and a singlet, sans toolbox. Brad cleared his throat meaningfully.

"You can't use magic on the vending machines, Taako," he said, sounding disappointed. "It's against regulations."

"What?"

"I saw you cast prestigitation on that machine."

"Hey," Taako said, indignant. "Your dumb machine stole my money. I only wanted a bottle of seltzer. It got caught, look at it."

"So you tried to magic it out?" If anything, Brad sounded even more disappointed. "What if you'd knocked out some snacks as well?"

"It would have been a great day?" Taako said, annoyance rising. "If you're only here to scold me you can piss off."

Brad sighed and approached the machine, digging in his pyjama pockets and pulling out the most corporate wallet Taako had ever seen. It even had his initials embossed on it. Taako watched, wary, as he plugged a couple of coins in, pressed some buttons, and the machine spat out _two_  bottles of seltzer.

Brad took them both and held one out to Taako, who went to take it, until Brad tutted and pulled it back out of his reach. "What do you say?"

"I say give me my damn drink, Bradson," Taako said, and lunged, but Brad stepped back easily, towards the corridor wall.

"It's mine now," Brad said. "I paid for a bottle of seltzer and got two. Luck of the draw, I guess." He waggled both bottles and smirked at Taako, who nodded.

"Ok, that's how we're playing this then," he said, and shouldered his way into Brad's space; surprised, Brad stepped back again, and hit the wall behind him with a soft exhale. Taako pressed forward until they were nearly touching, until he could feel the warmth radiating off Brad's chest, and said, voice as low as he could manage, "What do you want for it?"

A slow smile, and in an answering quiet rumble, "What's on the table?"

Taako planted his hand on the wall next to Brad's head. "Manage your expectations, Brad. We're talking about a seltzer here, not a grand relic."

Brad's gaze dropped to Taako's mouth. Still smiling, he murmured, "Maybe I could kiss you, then?"

Taako would die before he'd admit that being _asked the question_  was- pretty fucking cute. He rolled his eyes instead, ignoring the way his pulse had picked up. "Fair deal for some fizzy water, I guess," he said, and Brad brought his spare hand up between them to tip Taako's chin up as he leaned in to barely brush their lips together, thumb stroking along Taako’s jaw, the huff of his breath against Taako's face warm and gentle.

Taako’s eyes slid shut, very much against his wishes. “You smell like apples,” he mumbled against Brad’s mouth, and felt an answering smile.

Brad leaned back and dropped his hand, and Taako opened his eyes. "Your prize," Brad said, and held up one of the bottles of seltzer.

"Is that i-" Taako started, without thinking, and then bit his lip. Brad's eyebrows shot up, and he smirked.

"We're talking about a seltzer here, not a grand relic," Brad said, aping Taako's tone perfectly. "Although of course, if you want to double your winnings," he waved the other bottle, "it might cost you a little more."

"Oh?"

Brad's empty hand curled imperiously on his hip. "It's probably a discussion best held in private."

" _Oh_?" He strung out the syllable, sing-song.

Brad pushed away from the wall, forcing Taako back, although his hand stayed solid on Taako's hip. "Yes. Shall we?" He gestured with the seltzers down the corridor, away from the apartment Taako shared with Magnus and Merle, but lowered his spare hand, letting Taako take the lead.

"Never could resist double or nothing," Taako told him, and led the way.

**Author's Note:**

> What up MTV I wrote the stupidest fluff I could think of in order to cope with episode 66 welcome to my crib
> 
> Brad's pyjamas are [here](http://www.peteralexander.com.au/shop/en/peteralexander/mens-red-check-pj-pant).
> 
> He smells like apples because he makes a [really strong hard cider](https://twitter.com/Rqtheory_/status/881085871411220480) (Abundance of caution cw: suicide ref) yeah hi I've put way too much thought into TAZ beer preference headcanons because i'm... a beer nerd... and also a nerd more generally


End file.
